Question 94 ~ Yards

Describe your yard as a child.  Did you help with yard work?

We moved around so much when I was young it would be tough to describe my yards.  However, I did have to help with rack the leafs and shoveling the snow. Usually racking turned into jumping through them and making more of a mess so we were told to get out of the way and my brothers would end up finishing it (we weren't dumb!) and shoveling turned into us taking to long and my brother's or step dad would end up doing it... once again proving we weren't dumb.

Wish we had grown up in the same place our whole childhood but oh well.
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                graphic from ChillinInJnville@aol.com
Just to thank you all for your kind comments, prayers and wonderful emails, my mother's surgery went well.  Recovery is going fine and I'm home whew!

THANKS &
Much luv,
Promise

Sorry

                
The journal jar will be offline for a couple of day.  My mother is having surgery tomorrow and I am leaving in a bit to go be with her for the day and tonight to help her keep her mind off of it... also to be with her during (no they won't let me in the operating room those dang DR's!!) and probably tomorrow night to see her through her first 24 hours of recovery.  So I'll probably be back on Wed. 

Please say a little pray for her.  Although I know she will be fine prayers can't hurt.

Thanks.
Luv ya all...
Promise

question 93 ~ Advice

What is your advice to those younger than yourself?

Live each day to it's fullest.  Do not take people, places or experiences for granted.  Love the people you love even when they get on your nerves, to the fullest. Don't ever be ashamed to hug your parents.  If your mother is making you crazy, it's not your fault, just try and find even the tiniest of good in her and love that part of her.  If you don't like someone, either get to know them better, you just may find they could turn out to be your best friend... or just don't waste your time with them, life is too short.  Don't SMOKE.. it's not cool, it doesn't taste good, it WILL KILL YOU.  Always think before you do something.  Love is an emotion, it takes time to grow.  Physical attraction is not love.  If a man hits you once he will probably do it again and again so run.  I can't say that about women because I've never been in that situation but it's probably true too.  Always be honest.. you're going to have to eventually anyway, so why not be that way from the start.  Try to forgive, holding on to resentments only hurts yourself the person you are mad at has probably forgotten it and it's only taking up your own time.

But most importantly believe in yourself, trust your gut.  You can either be your best cheerleader in life or your own worst enemy.  Never tell yourself I could have done better, just do it better next time.... Life is just practice, mistakes happen, shake your head like an etch-er-sketch and go on.  Enjoy your time on Earth but know there HAS to be better things to come.

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Question 92 ~ Wash day?

Tell about a frustrating experience you have had on wash day with the washing machine, clothes, people,  etc and tell about the outcome.
                               

Wash day?  Is there such a thing as a wash day?  I wash everyday.  Okay this question just seemed strange to me at first.  But then I sort of changed the words in my head and it was simple. 

So a few years back I had been looking for my pink sock.  Now I'm a nutcase almost everyone knows this, but my socks need to match my outfit or at lest tie in to it somewhat. No, just wearing white socks all the time didn't cut it. Worse then this my hair ties HAD to match my socks... we won't go into this...I have since settled down.  I could not find that pink sock.  I had other pink socks but not that shade and  the obsession to find this one had already begun.  I turned the house upside-down looking.  So I changed the outfit (of coarse can't have the right socks the outfit needs to be changed, used to drive my husband crazy) So the next day I'm putting clothes in the washing and think... lots of socks go in here but never come out.  So I have this bright idea, I'm going to just slip that agitator part off and see if they are under there.  Well, needless to say they weren't, but one piece lead to another until I had turned the thing around and taken the back off and the whole machine was apart before I knew it. Parts of the washer all around the room. I'm now, sitting on the floor laughing.  I shouldn't be laughing I knew this, but I just didn't know how I had gotten myself into this mess.  I hear the door shut, I knew my husband was home.  He enters the room and  as I'm explaining this my laughter is now turning to tears.  I quietly say "can you fix it?"  RIGHT!!  We call a repair man... and the day he came out he surveys the room and says "it would be best for you just to buy a new washer"  My tears come again, not for the washer but for me, because this is going to mean my death, my husband will kill me.  The repair man turns to my husband and says "How did it get like this?"  So my husband briefly explains "she's looking for socks, takes it apart"  The repairman says to me "Oh hun, everyone knows it's the dryer that steals them"  My husband laughed for the first time in days and said "Don't give her any ideas".

Now to put some clarity on this I AM bipolar and I was a tad manic at the time.... I could write up a few of these stories that are now so funny but at the time were so awful and strange.... well I guess they are still strange.  But as I'm writing this I'm laughing my butt off.

I did get a new washer.  I got a new fridge that year too, not because I took it apart but because I sponge painted fish on it, and my husband did not like that!! opps.  But that's a whole another story.......
                      

+++I tried to post this question yesterday but I couldn't get into my journals.  I was having computer problems.  Sorry. 

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question 91 ~ If looks could kill

What did you look like as a child?

A lot like I look now, only younger... haha guess that was the easy answer huh?

Well, I was blonde green eyed as I am now.  Very skinny.  I had a pout, I was either pouting or laughing.  I had a temper (of coarse that went away you know lol)  I was the baby of the family and it showed in my expressions.  I will find a picture of myself as a child and post it when I have more time.  Because a picture is worth a thousand words.

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question 90 ~ Traits

What were your mother's best traits and which ones do you share with her?

Hard hard question, since I'm having such problems with my mother now.  I should correct that, I've always had problems with my mother, I am just now coming to realize them.  I was always told it was my fault but I am growing up and taking a look at things.  Owning my stuff and letting the rest go to her where they belong.

Okay I should answer this question.  My mothers <choke> good traits.  I know she has some, somewhere they got buried deep.  She is a fighter... keeps fighting and doesn't give up.  That is one thing I got from her.  (I'm trying to stay positive here which is hard).  She has an amazing imagination, she's a smart woman and she loves animals, I know a person that loves animals can't be all that bad.  Even if she has such a rotten side (okay okay I know best traits hummm..  She is a great cook, Is cooking a trait? ahhh this is a hard question for me, since MotherWar 5 hit.  I wish I had some neat stuff to say about her but I just don't.  She does care about others in her own way as long as it doesn't get IN her way.  She loves her husband, when he is doing what she wants him to do.  I'm sounding so bitter.  There I get my bitterness from my mother there is a trait I get from her. LMAO.  So there you have it Promise's bitter entry of mother traits.  Maybe someday I can come back and change my views here (I'm an optimistic woman with heart!)  During the typing of this entry someone posing as my mother called... I'm having a bad day, one of those "I wish bedtime would hurry up and get here" kind of days, she was a nice woman lol. So I'd like to add can sometimes be a loving person to the list of traits.  We had a good conversation.  The WHOLE thing did NOT revolve around her. She actually made me feel I wasn't totally crazy and never once did she call me worthless.  Hmmm. I wonder who that was that called me (hahaha).

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Question 89 ~ Father

What special things did you do with your father?

OUCH!!  Okay, if I want this to be an honest thing I will have to answer this question.  I still haven't answered the wedding question, and am not wanting to look back at that.  And here I am with a question I do not in any way want to face.

I have a father and a dad.  My father left when I was little.  That's not to say he didn't do anything with me... just not things I'd really want to write about.  He used to feed me shots of whiskey and some sort of pickled fish when we were over there. I think that was my first memory of him (other then sitting in the car while he was in the bar)  Then he molested me but those memories are just beginning to come back and I will save that for therapy.

As far as my step father goes, I didn't like him at first, didn't trust him.  So when I was at home all his attempts to get close to me failed.  I believe now I didn't trust him because of what my father was doing to me.  Then I remember hearing him telling my mother that he didn't think my father should see me anymore.  (not that he was seeing me on a regular basis anyway just when he saw fit)  I blocked so much out, not just the abuse but everything around it... even the good stuff.  I do remember my step dad playing with us and me fighting it.  Then one day things came to a head, we had a screaming match.  I told him I hated him, he would never be my father.  He looked relieved.  I guess being my father is something he didn't want to do.  He wanted to be my dad.  After I moved out we became close, he took me fishing a lot, took me ice fishing for the first time... I stood on the ice scared to death I was going to break threw.  It was fun.  He now defends me against my mother... not many people have the guts to do that.  I'm glad I gave him a chance.. I just wish I hadn't waited so long.  As for my bio father.. he's dead,  I am making progress in forgiving him... if I don't forgive him I'll never grow, the pain will never end and I'll never stop having problems because of it.  I still have a long way until I accomplish that but I'm on my way.

I can't believe I'm willing to share this, not sure if it's the best idea or not.  I usually like to keep this stuff private.  Maybe it's a good thing.... maybe not.

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Question 88 ~ School

Describe a typical school day in junior high school.

Aww, back to junior high.  Well, I'd usually get there early because I had to plan out my social life. We would all just walk around in the halls, messing around, planning parties, exchanging homework.  Junior high was just that to me, social.  I skipped school/classes whenever possible.  I really cared more about boys, parties and clothes.  I did learn lessons but most of the nonacademic kind.  I cared more about football games and dances then school work.  And it showed.  I didn't get the best grades. I had a very smart sister and I think that is why I passed classes, she would help me with assignments. 
So my typical day IN junior high was spent somewhere in town or at a friends house.  It's a miracle I can read and write (don't even mention my spelling ... I worship the person who invented spell check)

Looking back I wish I had pay more attention in school.  When my son brings homework he doesn't understand there are so many times even I don't understand it.  It's frustrating.  I'm not stupid in the least, I'm just not exactly book smart.  But I am who I am.

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Question 87 ~ Christmas

Tell about your own Christmas traditions.

Sometimes I swear I am repeating questions. I looked and didn't find this one but I remember answering it, maybe it was on a Sat six or some other question journal.

We usually stay home Christmas Eve (although last few years that has become the family time.. which sucks). Me and the kids would make homemade pizzas, finish the tree, drink eggnog, play games and open a couple of presents.  Then bed to wait for Santa <wink>  Christmas Day used to be when we would spend it with my Mom, dad, sister and brother etc.  Somehow that got switched up. So I usually make a small turkey dinner on Christmas for me and the kids and will invite some people over later.  In the evening we often go to the shelter and serve their Christmas meal and spend time with them. It's been a growing experience for me and the kids.  They learn the real meaning of Christmas, that it isn't all about presents and pretty trees.. it's about giving. 
This year will probably be different since my whole family isn't really talking to my mother... we'll see.

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Question 86

Describe your wedding day.

(I will be back to post my answer later on, I'm not feeling very well today, sorry about the missed question yesterday)

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